Maybe it started when I built a wigwam in the woods as a kid—just sticks and ferns, the sound of Beaver Creek, and the feeling: I like it here.

Did it start when I first got my real estate license back in 2020 and I saw the power that home ownership was bringing my clients? How about when I lived in the Kamishak? A tiny house/shed— 84 sq ft of cedar-scented freedom. No plumbing, no distractions, and just enough room for everything I actually needed. It felt like a castle because of what it removed me from and gently led me towards… my true self. What about my rebellion toward settling down- “less is more!” I’d say.

I still believe that less is more.

Buying my first home has been a turning point—proof of my own capacity and the quiet satisfaction that comes from struggle, complete ownership of my life choices, and making something mine. It’s grounding, creative, strategic, and deeply personal.

Changing just a couple things while waiting to re-model certain spaces really helps— The rain shower head and plants set the stage!

I could spend all day trying to figure out how to begin this story. The tapestry that the thread of my life is weaving becomes more dynamic as time goes on, so it’s harder to sum things up. I want to tell you about the colors, why some are shimmering in the light and some look quite dull, why many scenes have tangled knots on the back. But then, part of me wants to keep to the facts- this dumb tapestry symbolism isn’t needed- What are interest rates? How did you time the market?

Love them both- the internal and external components of homebuying.

There is a lot of betting in this game. You have to bet on yourself, bet on the timing, the economy, the location, the team players, the price, and on and on. You risk something on the outcome of an uncertain event. It’s uncomfortably uprooting before it feels grounding.

I did a lot of betting. I felt unsure for a long time, which sucked, because this step forward demands full commitment. I think when it's your first time buying a house, it’s such a big, absolute event yet the nature of taking that step you’ve never taken feels like a leap off the edge of a cliff- not the feeling you want when you’re betting so much. I think some of the best advice I received from a friend (who received it from his friend on his first purchase) was “You’re not going to die!”.

So, once I decided I wasn’t going to die, that helped.

I took my time, which worked out, fortunately, in my best interest. I looked at my external options and internal motives. I found things I didn’t expect. I wanted homes I couldn’t have. I learned so much about copper pipes, water leaks, and how ego distracts us from the greater good.

After spending 19,896 hours on Zillow I circled back to a house I had viewed a few months prior. When I originally walked into it I thought: “Ew no.”, quickly ran through it and left.

There was a pile of business cards on the counter, so clearly I wasn’t the only one who thought this house was a no. But as I stared at it again with new eyes I thought... What if the no’s were made into yeses (Take out the cake pillars!)? What if all of these other no’s brought me to my yes? I took the knowledge I learned from my inspector and realized- this was actually a nicely built house. The bones were incredible, the siding looked crisp. It was old but not so old that it would have asbestos or bad electrical. The roof was shot, but I’d ask for that to be replaced. I’d cover all systems with a home warranty. And because it sat for so long I could most likely get all of the things I asked the sellers for (I did). My wheels turned. I texted the agent a very low number asking if they’d consider it and she said they’d accept. Boom. I went pending Christmas Eve (also strategic). I won’t bore you with the rest of the details of my deal because it is actually an extremely juicy story for another time.

“Getting this house has been good for my mental health.” a client-turned-friend, Kurt, told me a couple weeks ago as we sat at the table. Both of us are fresh little homeowners. He spoke of how he always rebelled against settling down like I did. How all of his belongings could fit into his car, like mine did. I asked him in what ways has it been good for him and one thing he said was: “I know I’ll always have a home to return to.”

A stake in the ground, privacy, solace, belonging.

It was beautiful to be rounding this bend together… How reaching something we used to resist ended up better than we thought.

I’m currently on my back deck writing this in the sun. I hear a Robin scratching the dead leaves in the grass and am looking forward to a beautiful holiday weekend. It’s got me thinking… Absolutely, there was fear in homebuying. There was risk and unknown, but there is risk in other choices too.

Fear is often talked about in homebuying but not what comes after.

Being on the other side of the leap has brought a peace and empowerment in ways that I didn’t anticipate. You hear a lot about pride of ownership and financial stability but there is more. It fosters emotional, creative, personal and relational expansion too. (+ getting the hours of my life back spent on Zillow, haha!) Family and friends are here for Easter weekend. I see my Dad running around with his tools fixing things and the dog asleep in the sun-rays.

Since closing 2 months ago, I have had so much help. We’ve installed new floors and trim (thank you, Paul!). We’ve painted so many walls white and the front door black. My bf Blake is always there to listen to my thought processes and follows up with solutions or food (xoxo). My friend Jana found me a 7 foot table and her fam helped bring it home— when I see it full, my heart is as full as the table. I even found the original builder who helped me take out the cake pillars. I’ve scored on second-hand appliances. I’ll do the math for another post but when all is said and done I bought my W/D, dishwasher and commercial Viking range for $400ish total (thanks dad for the installs and ideas!). I am still fridge shopping- I’m thinking of getting a fun, glass commercial fridge but I am not sure yet. I have a garage to organize, flowers to plant and solid-core shaker doors (free from FB marketplace) that I will sand and paint next. If you’ve ever renovated, dreamed of owning a fixer-upper, or just love a good before-and-after, you’re in the right place. Renovating a house is an adventure. It’s messy, humbling, and always costs more than you think. But this experience reminds me why I love what I do: Homes aren’t just investments—they’re reflections of who we are and a container for who we’re becoming.

“You’re Not Going to Die”: Notes on Buying My First House in Bend, OR

Fear is often talked about in homebuying but not what comes after.

What does it mean to pass or fail a home appraisal?